May 29, 2014

Shaping Our Marriage

Moving thousands of miles away from our family and friends was tough. Moving to California was way harder then moving to Florida. When I moved to Florida it didn't necessarily feel permanent. I knew if anything happened and I needed to go home I could call my brother and he would come get me. Florida wasn't home and I knew that. After Tyler and I got married one week later we were on the road headed to California. That time was different, I knew we would be making California home or any other state we ventured to, because home was with Tyler now. 

Moving to California was hard, very hard. Though the transition to the city felt crippling at times, moving away shaped our marriage in incredible ways. Living in LA meant Tyler and I only had each other. There was no one there to press upon us their opinion of how our marriage should be. There were no obligations to visit family in town. There was no one popping in to say hello. It was just us and we had to figure it all out. I believe this was one of the best things for our marriage. If one of us got mad we didn't have anywhere else to go to be mad, because we didn't have anyone else.
Tyler and I became a team, viciously protective of each and our marriage. We were all each other had. Now, we love our families and yes, they came and saw us and we cherished every single minute of it. And yes we made friends and enjoy our time with them. And at times we felt very alone and that was hard too. But the marriage that we created, we created without any outside influence from friends and family that we had grown up with. I think it was amazing. We hashed out issues, we discussed traits that we would leave behind, and we decided on the legacy we would be setting for our family.
Do I think our marriage would have turned out great if we lived in our home town? Absolutely. I just think this experience provided an opportunity to shape our marriage in an amazing way.

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14 comments:

  1. While we didn't move across the country, we did move away 4 months after we got married. And we HATED it at first, but then we saw the beauty of it and now wouldn't trade that time for the world! We grew so much in our marriage!

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    1. Living in LA has been so hard for me, but living faraway from family has been so good for us and I absolutely love that part of it.

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  2. this is awesome Samantha!!!! how amazing that you took a tough situation and used it to strengthen your marriage! it would be so hard to be completely alone in a city but so awesome how your marriage was shaped because of it!

    sometimes i wish we had moved away when we got married, because all of my husband's family lives like 5-10 minutes from us and my family lives about 45 and sometimes i wish we could just have a break from it! not that i don't love them.... but because we're starting our own family and traditions now and it's hard when you're expected to be here and there and do this and that for holidays, birthdays, etc.

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    1. I love how honest you are about wishing you had time away. I've known a couple of couples who said it was tough the first year being around family, because you have to work so hard at defining your relationship without family intervening.

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  3. Love this! I always thought that it takes a village until you have to move out of that village! That's when you get down to the gritty, marriage building foundation work!

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  4. So proud of you both and happy for you!!

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  5. "There was no one there to press upon us their opinion of how our marriage should be. There were no obligations to visit family in town. There was no one popping in to say hello. It was just us and we had to figure it all out. I believe this was one of the best things for our marriage. If one of us got mad we didn't have anywhere else to go to be mad, because we didn't have anyone else. " SO TOTALLY AGREE! What a blessing this must have been to your marriage. Love it so very much.

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  6. I can relate to this...because I did the same thing! It wasn't quite as fast after we got married though. It was 9 months and a busy senior year later. However, we moved to TX just 2 weeks after I graduated college. I can relate to shaping our relationship together. Sometimes, I wish our families were closer because I miss family bbq's and spontaneous visits. But, I wouldn't change a thing!

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  7. Oh I can absolutely relate to this! When we got married we moved to NC together. I had a community of people there because of school, but after everyone graduated we did have times of feeling very alone. Even though we have the community, I definitely feel like it's just the two of us and that we have to work together as a team to make it through this crazy life :)

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    1. I'm so glad you have a community there. I love how our time in LA has really shaped our marriage and helped to strengthen it. It has been difficult here because there is such a lack of community. The blog community has actually been such a blessing because before blogging
      I had zero girlfriends in LA that I could share my faith with.

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  8. Love, love love this! Sometimes it's the hardest things we go through that shape our relationships and marriages into something beautiful and strong.

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    1. Jenna! I love reading your comments because you are always so sweet! Thank you!

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  9. I agree!!! Dave and I have loved living in a small town away from everyone. We still get to see friends and family when we travel home (it's just 3 hours) but it's nice to be alone and build our own marriage. Glad you get that experience too.

    On a completely different note, your new blog header is super pretty!

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    1. Thank you! I'm so glad you like the header! It totally reminds me of summer! How did you and Dave end up three hours away, instead of in the same town?

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**I love reading all your sweet comments and love getting to know every single one of you. I do my best to respond to every comment and will do so via email. If you don't receive a response, you may be a no-reply blogger.

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